Self Absorbed? Insecure? [Social Media's influence on our desire to MATTER]

Gossip. It's a girl's best friend. "Did you hear about THIS?!" "Did you SEE THAT!?" We love to talk about all the crazy stories that have the "shock factor." Many of us don't have a problem with talking about everything that is wrong with our life or someone else's life. We love to get a reaction out of people that makes us feel like what we have to to say matters. We want to matter. We live in a world of "anti-social" media that thrives on #1. Self-absorbed people who want everyone to know what is going on in their life (#Selfie! #lookatmyawesomenewthis #lookwhereIam) and #2. Insecure people who spend all their time finding out what is going on in everyone else's life and comparing themselves. (How many likes did I get? How many followers do I have?) You might know everything going on in some celebrity's life who you've never even met and who doesn't know or care you exist, but have no idea what is going on in the person's life who is sitting right next to you. 

You might be thinking, "well I'm not self-absorbed or insecure... what about all the rest of us who just enjoy social media?" I want to argue with you that you're kidding yourself if you think you don't have any insecurities or are never self-absorbed. SO WHAT if I'm being dramatic by labeling you as "self-absorbed" or "insecure". I'm trying to make a point that no one is perfect, and even if you have good intentions with social media, you need to BE CAREFUL not to allow pride or insecurity take over. It is okay to not be perfect. In fact, it is IMPOSSIBLE to be perfect. However, ask yourself this question: Am I allowing myself to be affected by social media in a negative way? If so, challenge yourself to take a break from social media. Anything that effects you negatively should be evaluated and changed until it effects you for the good. If it cannot effect you for your good... What's it good for?

Is social media of the devil? completely evil? No, of course not. There are a lot of positive ways it can be used for. In fact, if you are able to use social media as a tool to spread the love of Jesus, that is an awesome thing! Or to encourage and lift up others! Or to reach out to someone you wouldn't have been able to otherwise. And sure, it is a good way to be able to see what is going on in others' lives whom you care about. The problem comes in when the comparison starts. Or tons of time is wasted. Or you begin to talk about others in a negative light. 1 Thess. 5:11 says: "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up." and Heb. 10:24-25 says: "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, and not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another." We need to use social media to encourage one another. Don't tear each other down. Or tear yourself down.

Sometimes our insecurities build up until one day we realize we have become an insecure person. It is because we have dwelt on our faults and weaknesses. Or we've enjoyed the attention we received from the likes we got on the selfies we took until one day, we come to the place where we realize we are thriving solely on the attention from others and have become self-absorbed and prideful people. Deep down, both insecurity and pride come from a place of wanting to be loved. Of wanting to matter. We feel we don't measure up.  Don't lose touch with the reality that God loves each and every one of us. We don't need to compare ourselves with others because we are each created uniquely. God has gifted each of us differently and has a special purpose and plan for our lives. Do not allow comparison of others to tear you down (insecurity), or build you up too high (pride). Instead, allow the love of Christ to be the only thing that matters. Your identity is found not on what others think, but on what Christ thinks. See yourself as He sees you. Fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 119:14). 

YOU MATTER TO JESUS! No matter who you are, or what you've done, Jesus Christ loves you and gave His life for you. You are so valuable to Him. He created you to have relationship with Him. He wants to spend time with you. He wants you and for you to know Him in a very personal way. He already knows your heart. He already knows your thoughts. Your dreams, your desires, you hurts, your pain. He sees what you've been through and He knows how you feel. He wants you to run to Him, because He is waiting with His arms stretched wide. He will pick you up, because He is your Heavenly Father and He loves you so much. Will you let Him? Ask Him right now. He hears you. He answers. He is so faithful and He will never leave you or forsake you.

Enjoy this post? Feel called to grow in your relationship with the Lord and be stretched in ministry? visit our website at www.nysum.org/city-reach-institute for more information or to apply to our 9-month urban training program.

5 things you wish you had known 5 years ago

What would you tell yourself if you could go back in time 5 years and give yourself advice? Do you wish you had more wisdom in making decisions? Would you change any decisions you made back then? Sometimes reflecting on the past is the best way to move forward in the future. Here are 5 things I wish I had known 5 years ago. I want to impart them to you so you can do your own reflection. Ask yourself the tough questions. Because then you can make changes and grow. 

1. LIFE IS SHORT. I'm sure you already know this. But do you really know it? When you're still young, you think you understand that life is short, but because you've lived so little and still have so much life ahead of you, you can't fully understand just how fast time goes by. ARE YOU MAKING THE MOST OF YOUR TIME? OR ARE YOU WASTING IT? We are all guilty of wasting time. There are a lot of "entertainment" outlets such as watching tv/movies, playing video games, scrolling through social media or the internet, texting/snapchatting, working out/sports, music, the list goes on. Those things aren't bad in and of themselves, but when you let any of those things take over large chunks of your time regularly, ask yourself: "HOW IS ________ BENEFITING ME?" which leads me to my second point.

2. DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME. Once you've asked yourself how the things you spend large amounts of time on are benefiting you, be honest with yourself. If the answer is they don't, or it is purely to entertain yourself, ask yourself this next question: HOW IMPORTANT IS MY ENTERTAINMENT TO ME? Evaluate this in light of the fact that God has an incredible plan and purpose for your life. He desires for you to know him more. For you to grow. And guess what? God is a great entertainer. Spending time with Him is more fulfilling and "entertaining" than the best movie. If you don't think so, put it to the test. Ask Him to show himself to be more fulfilling than any other "drug" we waste our time on.

3. JESUS LOVES YOU. Do you know that? Do you REALLY know that? Well He does. He loves you so much that nothing you do could ever change that. He is our PERFECT heavenly Father. Many people don't have a good idea of this because of trouble with earthly fathers. Here's what I want you to do. Think of what you would want your earthly Father to do and be like. Any area you wish he would change. Picture him being the best version of his self. Even if you think he would need to change EVERYTHING about himself, picture what he would look like if he was a perfect Father. Now, everything you could imagine your earthly Father being, God is INFINITELY BETTER than that! You think your dad is forgiving? God forgives EVERYTHING! Even if you commit the worst sin you could ever possibly think of, He embraces you with open arms. Your dad is fun? God has the best sense of humor and brings such joy and laughter and fun you couldn't imagine it. Your dad is wise? God's got the best advice. You should go to Him to ask for it. because He will never withhold any good thing from you. (Luke 11:9-13) Ask yourself: "DO I HAVE A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS HEAVENLY FATHER?" if not, ask Him. Spend time with Him. He wants to spend time with you.


4. MAKE GOALS, WORK TOWARDS THEM. Prov. 29:18 says that where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained. And in KJV it says the people perish. Without vision for what you want to do in the future, you end up going wherever the wind blows. Without a goal to work toward, where is the motivation to get anything done? The end is never in sight because you don't have an "end" planned. Obviously we need to always be willing to move wherever the Lord says, but we also need to plan accordingly. If the Lord says, "Move to this city and plant a church." and you do that, but you don't have any goals or direction for the church you are trying to plant, you will struggle with going anywhere. Because if a ship sets off sailing to no particular destination, it will float around aimlessly and the people will die aboard without ever making it to land because they weren't headed to a specific place. Ask yourself: "DO I HAVE ANY GOALS TO WORK TOWARD?" If not, make some.


5. BE ACCOUNTABLE TO SOMEONE. We've heard before to have accountability partners, but the problem is that we have to be very intentional about that relationship. It is easy to say, "I'm accountable to so-and-so" but it is much harder to plan regularly sitting down with that person and sharing your struggles. We get stuck when we think that we can handle our struggles ourselves. It is a lie from the enemy. That is how strong leaders in ministry end up falling. Because they are so high up on the influence ladder that they don't feel they can be vulnerable with others or else they will be judged since they are supposed to be in leadership. The enemy also convinces us that we are alone in our struggle and no one else will understand. But often the very thing we struggle with, everyone else does too, we are all just feeling the same way. Ask yourself: "DO I HAVE AN ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER?" Don't just say yes because you have a close friend you tell a lot of things to. You need to be INTENTIONAL! Tell them you want them to hold you accountable.

Take some time reflect on these five areas. I wish I had done this before. Share it with someone else too! Maybe they are going through the same thing and need encouragement.

NOW What? 5 Reasons to do Missions While You're Young and Single

Are you young? Still single? Want to be used by God? Feel unsure about the exact direction for your immediate future?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, this is for you. You're not alone!

So many young people finish high school or college these days and then ask the BIG question: NOW WHAT? If you're finishing high school and don't know what you want to do with your life, or where you want to go to college, what do you do? Do you get a minimum-wage job and live at home with your parents? Do you start college in hopes you'll figure it out as you go, possibly wasting time and money in the process?

If you're graduating college but aren't about to get married, what comes next? Do you move back home with your parents? Do you find a "grown-up" job and get your own place and start paying bills? Do you think about grad school because you don't know what else to do?

I want to suggest a big idea for you: Give a year of your life to missions! Here are 5 reasons why it is a great idea to do missions while you're still young and single:

1. You're single... you don't have a spouse and kids to take care of yet! Once you get married, your family becomes a priority to you. Your time is not just your own because you have another person to think about and make decisions with. When you have kids, your time is even more divided. It is not impossible to take your whole family to the missions' field. But there are only a small number of people who do it, because it is so challenging. When you go alone, all you have to do is follow the Lord's leading and He will take care of you. It is just you and the Lord. Plus, you only need to raise support for 1 person instead of 3 or 4.

2. You are putting the Lord first, giving a tithe of your time. When we surrender our lives to God, we're saying that we put Him first. We commit to follow Him. Yet how often does the way we spend our time reflect that commitment? In a 24 hour period, how much of that time do we spend with Him, or serving Him by meeting the needs of others? Maybe 30 minutes? That is less than 3% of our day. How much time do we spend on entertainment? On physical exercise? Or on whatever else we do to enjoy our free time? Maybe 2 hours/day? The way we spend our time tells us where our priorities are. I want my time to reflect my commitment to the Lord. Giving 1 year to missions is a small amount compared to the average life expectancy in the U.S. of 78.7 years. This doesn't mean after 1 year we can do whatever we want, it simply means for this period of time we are committing to lay aside all else to only pursue advancing His kingdom. 

3. Jesus said to go! Have you ever heard the phrase: "Some stay, some pray, some give, some go?" I don't like it. Because while it might be true that some stay, does that mean they should? Maybe, but maybe not. WHY are they staying? Because it is safer and easier? Hudson Taylor said, "The Great Commission is not an option to be considered; it is a command to be obeyed." In Matt. 28:19-20 Jesus said: "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you..." Let me ask this one question: If you are staying where you are to fulfill your part in the Great Commission, do you actively take steps to share the gospel and make an impact in your area of influence? I want to challenge you. Don't be complacent! Ask God if you are where He wants you to be. If so, step out in your area of influence! If not, it's time to go, even if it is just for a season.

4. Your own life is forever changed. It is scary to see how quickly the influence of entertainment, social media, and technology has seeped into every area of our daily lives in today's society. When we take time to withdraw from focusing on our own entertainment and instead focus our time on the kingdom of God, we see a drastic change in our own relationship with the Lord. If you've ever taken a social media fast, or something of the sort, you've probably had to find something else to do with your time. And if you did this fast for the right reasons, you've probably also noticed an immediate change in how much time you spend with the Lord and how your relationship with Him can grow. It is the same way when you invest solely in missions. Focusing on God and others instead of ourselves and our own desires changes us. God uses the time to grow us into who He wants us to be. You will never be the same.

5. You have the time, resources, health, and job availability NOW! If you get a salaried job, you are not going to have the vacation time or ability to go later without leaving your job. You are settling into a season of life where you just don't have the kind of freedom you need to go do missions. (Except for short-term trips where you use up your vacation time, or do a small amount of missions in your own city). Also, if you haven't gone to college yet, you haven't accumulated college debt or have to start paying bills. If you've just finished college, there are programs that allow you to put off paying your debt if you're working for a non-profit. Lastly, when you get older you never know what might happen with your health. While you have the physical and mental ability to "weather any storm," now is the time! None of these reasons mean you can't later, it is just EASIER NOW!

In closing, EXAMINE YOUR HEART. Ask the Lord if you're living to the fullest and best that He has for you, if you're growing with Him as much as you can, if you're making the most of every opportunity, if you're fulfilling the Great Commission. If you are, awesome. If you're not, ask Him what He has for you. Be willing to lay down your life for Him. Go wherever He says, do whatever He says, Be whoever He calls you to be. Allow the Holy Spirit to bring conviction or correction where He wants to. Ask Him to lead and guide your every step, so that wherever you go, you bring the light of Christ. 

Are you ready and available to be used when He calls?